I've often found it easier to connect with others over shared interests, but I think this sometimes speaks to my own laziness in building relationships (because it takes awareness and effort to be curious and interested in others). My closest friends are those I've shared a long history, who have been devoted to us, and us to them—who share our love for the Lord and our love for the church. Our interests are varied, but our love is deep.
Thanks for this reminder to be intentional in friendships, whether or not there's hobbies shared.
I read about your post in the email from Tim Challies' Ala Carte blog. What an interesting take on friendships! Your post had me pondering when and why men need friendships of different hobbies and interests. I write about the need for deeper, more authentic friendships for men on my blog (God-Buddies.com and book ("Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship").
I've stated that men often begin a new friendship when they find they have something in common with another man (see my blog post titled "Traits of a GB Relationship: Finding Commonality" - GB stands for "GodBuddy" -- which is linked below). For men, finding commonality is the easier "on-ramp" to a friendship.
My experience is that different hobbies and interests are a barrier to friendships for men...at least initially. I agree that everyone needs friends with varying interests and viewpoints. However, for friendships between men, once the relationship is established, diversity of thoughts and skills will "fill in our gaps" and help us become more balanced men who live and see the world differently, which makes us all better.
Rich, Christmas got away from me, and I never replied. I think it's so great you're writing about men and friendship. I think that's a topic that definitely needs more traction. And yes for sure, I agree that our meetings can still begin at commonalities, but sometimes those commonalities can be something as small as "we go to the same church" or "we are both men in the world". Focusing on these smaller commonalities allow ins for those men in our churches/etc who don't fit the mold of "I don't know watch sports" "I don't play video games" etc.. Just so much to unpack here of course! I'm glad you're doing it :)
I've often found it easier to connect with others over shared interests, but I think this sometimes speaks to my own laziness in building relationships (because it takes awareness and effort to be curious and interested in others). My closest friends are those I've shared a long history, who have been devoted to us, and us to them—who share our love for the Lord and our love for the church. Our interests are varied, but our love is deep.
Thanks for this reminder to be intentional in friendships, whether or not there's hobbies shared.
I love what you shared about your closest friends, that's beautiful.
I read about your post in the email from Tim Challies' Ala Carte blog. What an interesting take on friendships! Your post had me pondering when and why men need friendships of different hobbies and interests. I write about the need for deeper, more authentic friendships for men on my blog (God-Buddies.com and book ("Get Out of Your Man Cave: The Crisis of Male Friendship").
I've stated that men often begin a new friendship when they find they have something in common with another man (see my blog post titled "Traits of a GB Relationship: Finding Commonality" - GB stands for "GodBuddy" -- which is linked below). For men, finding commonality is the easier "on-ramp" to a friendship.
My experience is that different hobbies and interests are a barrier to friendships for men...at least initially. I agree that everyone needs friends with varying interests and viewpoints. However, for friendships between men, once the relationship is established, diversity of thoughts and skills will "fill in our gaps" and help us become more balanced men who live and see the world differently, which makes us all better.
Thanks again for sharing your viewpoint.
https://www.god-buddies.com/traits-of-a-gb-relationship-finding-commonality/
Rich, Christmas got away from me, and I never replied. I think it's so great you're writing about men and friendship. I think that's a topic that definitely needs more traction. And yes for sure, I agree that our meetings can still begin at commonalities, but sometimes those commonalities can be something as small as "we go to the same church" or "we are both men in the world". Focusing on these smaller commonalities allow ins for those men in our churches/etc who don't fit the mold of "I don't know watch sports" "I don't play video games" etc.. Just so much to unpack here of course! I'm glad you're doing it :)